Dharma

I recently returned from a spiritual journey to the Gulf Islands in British Columbia and I feel moved to share my experiences. I felt so alive there. We (Lily and I) were staying at an ashram deep in the valley of many pine-covered mountains. With three locally (on the property) grown, vegetarian meals a day, an open schedule of yoga classes, and philosophy talks during the night, it was hard not to spend some time looking inward. I was regularly moved to tears by the discussions about following our dharma (our truth path). With all the clarity I felt in this scenic escape I felt reconnected with my passion to heal. 

The leader of our discussion spoke about how we often see a glimpse of something we feel connected to (e.g. animals) and we search for the socially "acceptable" way of working within that dream. In the case of animals, one would see being a veterinarian as "safe" path that includes social acceptance, success, and financial security. But is that really the calling? Maybe you were supposed to live on animal sanctuary in jungle and reintroduce cougars who had been caged back into the wild! Or maybe you need to find a way to have enough land to have a farm. One needs to look deep within themselves to find what they really want. 

I connected deeply with the subject because I truly feel that my purpose to heal people of their insecurities and emotional scars and help them to live empowered, emotionally healthy lives, but I struggle with how to get there. Is being a licensed psychotherapist the best path to achieve that? And if I am to inspire others to step outside of what is safe and expected of them, shouldn't I be breaking the mold myself? The challenge presents itself: If we do not all fit into the perfect molds (lawyer, banker, doctor) that society has made for us how do we create a profession filled with passion that satisfies us and is financially lucrative? 

I guess I will be spending the year figuring that out. 

Coming Home

I have recently decided to start this baby back up again with a new level of commitment. My life has taken many turns in the last couple of months. I was accepted to Social Work Master's programs and was fully ready to pack my bags and head down south and begin my graduate education. But then life took a turn (as it often does). My partner of 5 1/2 years (the last two of which have been long distance) got a job at Google in San Francisco. The funny thing about this is that he had been in Southern California for last to years getting his business degree while I had been in the bay working as teacher. And now we were about to switch. So I had to make a choice. Spend another year doing the long distance legwork and heading off to school, or staying at my current job and deferring my acceptance. It was the hardest decision I had ever had to make. In the end, I chose love (provincial of me? maybe). Another year of being apart would have definitely broken us, but school is going nowhere. Fortunately, I work at a wonderful school that supports and encourages my creative endeavors, and welcomed me back with open arms. The decision stills weighs on me now and then, but I hope it was the right one (fingers crossed).